Palettes of Paint
Posted by Chris on Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
My Lifes a painting I’ve done blind
With each brushstroke you’ll see me blur every solid line
Over this Canvas I have stood with no one left beside me.
no on to decide if its good.
- “Sing” / The Classic Crime / The Silver Cord
So I have been listening to the new The Classic Crime album and was reading through the lyrics the other night. The above lyrics caught my attention. I’m not sure that what I am about to write is what the writer intended from these lyrics, but I have been thinking about this for a few days now and wanted to write it out. I have been thinking about where I am at in life right now. I think these word give a clear picture of not only myself but many other people.
Our life is generally something we do on our own. We make our best attempts and efforts to pursue dreams, goals and passions. People observe things, the brushstrokes, and see how we mess up, and distort this painting we call life. A lot of times we don’t offer help or even get help.
While I am responsible for what I do here on earth with the brief moment that God has given me. I am thankful for the palettes of paint that I’ve been able to paint with. What I mean by that is this. I am thankful for the people that have spoken into my life, shaped my life and made me who I am. While some of the textures and foundations on this canvas called life are rough, distorted, dried out, cracking and lines are blurred, God has brought me to a place where I am able to paint with fresh paint. While doing so blindly and no one really to see the end result. I am moving the brush with more grace and swiftness that is completing something that probably no one will see. All that matters is to the one I am painting for. I am covering the old with new. Realizing to whom I belong and what I was created for. While the canvas I am painting on isn’t so clear I am trusting that when it is complete will be a magnificent reflection and glory of God.
So why am I in Colorado? For this very reason above. While I think some of you have thought it foolish and not understanding why. I think this is the best way I can explain it.
A damaged brush, habits and choices. They were controlling me, they made me and defined me. I saw no hope, I saw no way of getting out. Honestly I saw no one who could be of help. No one to be instrumental in my life and invest what needed to set me on the course to paint this masterpiece that God has defined for me.
So here I am in Colorado, having a fresh breath fill my lungs, a new perspective, and a fresh start. I don’t believe in running from problems, but sometimes you just need to get away, to get out, and to get free from the things that are crushing you, your person, your spirit. Wounded by arrows, stung by things that have defined who I am that are not true, people crushing you, and self perceptions that are simply lies. I am seeing who I am and becoming who I am in Christ.
It’s a hard and difficult road. So much numbness and callousness. This is something I am trying to wrap my head and my Heart around. I am thankful that I am reminded of who I am daily. Its wedging itself in and breaking this heart of stone.
I am the one Jesus loves.
What does your painting looking like?
Filed in makes ya think,random thoughts,spiritual application | 3 responses so far
Well spoken Chris from the bottom of your heart! I am SO proud of you and I am not just saying that, I mean it!!! Such a positive attitude!!!!
Love your big sis xoxoxo
Chris I am so proud of you! That is so deep and true and so much what many of us face when we realize that we are not true to what we say that we believe! I am praying for you and your new start with God as the pilot. I know that God has wonderful things in store for you just follow his lead one day at a time and keep going.
Love ya, Tyna
wow. can i take and copy and paste your post into my blog?!? i haven’t had my mac since we moved to missouri and with mom having dial up it hasn’t been easy to get on the internet so i have missed reading yours and others sites. i am just now reading this and i am amazed. it might sound stupid but i am sitting here crying. while not every word is applicable to me and my life right not, a lot of the sentiments hit home with how i feel at times lately. thanks for sharing your heart and for touching mine.
i am so glad that you followed what you knew God wanted for you. and that things are looking better for you. i am also sorry if i wasn’t the friend that you needed or the example that i should have been. i know that i did a lot of things wrong and i am sorry if i hurt you or our relationship in any way. know that i have always cared deeply for you and have counted it a blessing to have you in our families ;life. thanks for being a friend and especially thank you for loving my daughter.