Confession #16: Marriage
Posted by Chris on Monday, June 16th, 2008
Marriage. This one scares me. Not sure why. I’m afraid of failure I suppose. I’m afraid of not being suited for a particular moment or time when someone or a family depends on me. I’m afraid of being someone I don’t want to be, and don’t know how to change that. Sometimes I lay awake in bed and think about all this stuff, the responsibility, the commitment, the giving everything over, etc. And it scares me.
I’ve read a bit about the ideasl of marriage and how things are supposed to go and how to deal with situations and stuff like that. But I think when and if the rubber hits the road, I’m not sure I’ll have it all together. My guess is, I’m not in the boat alone. Maybe I haven’t been paying attention, but I don’t hear much talk about this among us guys. Maybe its something were just suppose to suck up and deal with it. Perhaps I’m the exception to the rule?
While I struggle with praying about this, I do desire a help mate that is gracious enough to deal with my faults, my weakness’s, and struggles and that I would be just as gracious, loving and encouraging to Her. I don’t expect a perfect marriage, but it is something I want to strive towards. Only thing I know is that God is it, He is what it’s all about. Its not about me, or my wife to be. It’s Him. My desire is that we grow together in becoming who we are individually in Him, and as one.
Those are some random thoughts I have.
Filed in Confessions, makes ya think, random thoughts, spiritual application |
wow - you summed that up pretty good!!! I think there are MANY of us single people out there thinking/feeling the exact thing you just wrote about - thanks for putting it into words